May 2013
Ps i still dont smoke grits if anyone was wondering.
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public opinion
So i got a gym pass. I mean, who was I kidding thinking that i was going to lose 10 pounds by haphazardly doing workouts in my bedroom, stopping (often) to stick a binky back in a mouth, or coo and cradle a child (my child) back to slumber so that i can stop feeling like complete shit.
I even went as far as to get a 3 day personal trainer. She is pretty cool, her name is Michele (pronounced...
April 2013
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Unconventional love is the best.
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Anybody love me anymore?
So i got clearance to work out at my doctors appointment yesterday. To some, working out is exciting and they crave it. For others working out is repulsive and they would rather die. For me, working out is a mixture of the two, and it also makes me feel insane because as soon as im done working out for thirty minutes im like : AM I SKINNY NOW? DO I LOOK GOOD YET? and, after one work out,...
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Cool mom
My son is balding. Like, all the hair he was born with is falling out and if you saw my clothes, you’d think I had a cat… which i do not have, or care to have.
I tried to clean my house today. If you want a way to justify never doing anything, not going out, never texting anyone, failing at calling anyone back, or basically doing nothing ever, have a child.
Twice this week i was...
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Sssh! Its sleeping!
Ah! Another new beginning!
For anyone who follows my blog fairly closely, you know that I do an “End of the Year Re-Cap”, where I pay tribute to all the important/traumatic/funny moments of my year. So, to get an idea of how hilariously into my blog I am, today I thought “This is so going in my Re-Cap.”
So, Im moving salons. I got a new Job at this really adorable little...
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At least I'm honest!
Well, today was Benny’s first easter! I tried to find him one of those cheesey silly like “my first easter” things, but at the last minute at target, and there werent any in his size. He still seems so small to me. Especially when i take a picture with him and i look like a giant.
I gained a lot of weight when i was pregnant. I mean, i was at my thinnest when i got knocked up,...
March 2013
aS I wAs SaYinG
I had every intention of making my last blog post longer, but my kid started making cute faces and I got distracted. He’s asleep right now, so I think i’ll be able to focus long enough to make a complete thought.
When i imagined my first weeks at home with Benson, i pictured myself exhausted and up all night. But so far this has been such a pleasant experience, i cant even complain!...
Im still here.....
So i havent gotten any bills in the mail yet for my angel son that was born almost exactly two weeks ago. So, basically Im still ballin’, incase you wanted to know.
Also, i am pumping my breast milk right now with my Medela gazillion dollar electric breast pump with a hands free bra. A hands free bra… hmm, what does that look like, you may ask? Imagine something Lady Gaga would wear,...
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Anonymous asked: when you get extensions do you glue them in or have clip in?
Anonymous asked: OMG MOMMY MATERIAL 2012!!!!! cheers.
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BYE$$$$
I tried to drive down pch and be dramatic today, because my day was so bad….But its just not the same as it used to be. You’d think with my pregnancy hormones and whatever else is messed up in my brain would enjoy a melodramatic drive with loud music and the windows down. .. But i think i’ve grown out of it. Isnt that depressing in itself? I mean, maybe my day wasnt bad enough to...
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Those Dreams...
Those dreams…
The ones that compromise your day, mind in utter disarray, so you sit up straight and you weigh…. the reality of the nightmare.
Yeah, its unfair. But whoever messed up your dream does not care, so you stare…. into the wall, and you wonder who to call about your messed up dream about falling downstream into bad memories where the words sting like...
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I hate my OBGYN.
So im having a kid next week.
I only know for sure it will be next week because my doctor is telling me that i will have to have a C-section birth because my kid’s head is bigger than my pelvis. Well, I think thats what he was telling me.
Im sad, annoyed, and now Im scared. I wasnt scared before but now i really am, and It doesnt help that i (excuse my language) fucking hate my doctor. I...
Phone rings: Its bradley.
Bradley: So, Im at in-n-out and this group of Asians-like, super Asians comes and sits down by me.
Me: Okay...
Bradley: Like, smart Asians, not gangster Asians.
Me: Okay....
Bradley: and then one of them goes "HEY! BRAD!" and its that cool Asian guy who works at 7Eleven by my old house and he hugged me!
February 2013
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Reality
I havent written anything lately because I try real real hard not to talk badly about my family on my blog. Well, now a days at least. I’ve got this funny little game i play with myself, and its called “im on a reality TV show 24 hours a day.” So i cant talk bad about my family because then the tabloids (who are obsessed) will take my blog and make it so public, and people will...
Someone dies = some people turn into complete whack jobs and fucking suck.
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10 things i am lovingly sick of hearing as a...
“Oh my gosh! Look at your waddle!”
“Wow, you’re really big for (insert number) months!”
“You should finish all your food, you’re eating for two.”
“Geeeze i cant believe you can eat all that!”
“My mom had a natural birth, you really should consider not getting an epidural.”
“You’re not married?”
...
January 2013
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Sensiiiiiiii
I am very sensitive. Like, incredibly full of feelings and susceptible, touchy, delicate, thin skinned, tender, etc.
Some people might think that this is my Achilles heal, my weakness, my downfall, but really i think its one of the strongest qualities I have.
MAYBE IM JUST TOO REAL FOR YOU, OK?
Quick update on the ant situation: i bleached them and they all went away :)
The weather is so perfect.
Brad and I have talked about moving to Portland or Seattle someday, and the thought is so appealing when i see their weather reports. But I am obsessed with my family and I shudder at the thought of not seeing them. I literally see my parents once or twice a week, its amazing.
I’ve always really liked my Mom, and my dad and i started getting along really well...
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In a few words, describe your "feelings"
It really bugs me when someone doesnt like me.
Its so petty, and kind of embarrassing that i am even articulating these feelings into a blog, but if i dont write them here, ill put them in some sort of casual and passive aggressive facebook status and just want to slap myself.
I am a mother now (almost) I cant run around acting like a child (via internet or otherwise.) I have an example to set...
Like, if i make the bed and then just lay on top of it, am i still gross?
I just dont feel like moving :(
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Still in love with Bradley, FYI.
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7 more weeks.
I hate when i dont blog for a week or two at a time.
Because its like, when i look back on my life via blog, i feel like pages from my diary are missing.
I’ve got 7 weeks left of being largely overweight, tired, and short of breath. In 7 short weeks i will be someone’s mother! I keep tripping out on it randomly and like the generation Y freak that i am, i envision my first tweet...
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King size for meeee
So we bought a bed. A BIG ONE! A king sized memory foam gigantic extravaganza complete with new sheets and all! Im in heaven, well, i mean, i will be once its delivered today between 12 and 6. Personally, i think that time window is a bit of a power play so that they can keep me at home all day and wait around for the delivery people.
Personally, i think its rude.
So bradley has been deathly Ill...
I dont take anything to do with facebook at all seriously on any level.
December 2012
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iTry
After many months of having the most shattered and f’d up iphone on the block, my new one has just arrived in the mail. I’m so thrilled.
I havent been able to do anything tumblr related since my phone is so shitty and my computer cord died. I swear, all things apple have like a time sensitive self destruct mechanism that activates over a certain period of time. Still live for apple...
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